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17.1.06 17:06


I'm tired

I just came home from the surgeon (Just to mention it: I like this surgeon. He meant: "Are you very sensitiv?" "?hm, no." "Good. It will hurt.") and at the moment it's hurting rather bad. First I thought "Hey, I don't feel anything at all", but now the anesthetization decreased. And I got a notification of illness for 3 days. That's really annoying. What shall I do in that days?

Thinking?

Maybe my entries are that negative, because I'm tired of acting like "Hey, how are you?" "I'm great!" It's exhausting. Actually I feel rather alone and somehow lost. Lost within my life and within myself.

This morning I was still complaining I don't want to work anymore ;-) It's so boring since the base is closed. We only got Layovers and businessmen. (Another reason for working in the night: you don't see all that idiots). On the other side, when I think of the americans which were here at last..... That were all really weird birds. They could try as hard as they want, no one wanted to have something to do with them ;-). And I mean, why had this one guy always had a comb in his hair? It was looking like he tried to do his hair and the comb broke...
16.1.06 17:24


Got it!!!

I will get the nightshift when Nicole is leaving. I love it to work in the night. I mean I can not sleep anyway... And the work is better, I get more money and I don't have that much people getting on my nerves.

Yesterday I was out for dinner with Anni. I was already late when I left (like always ;-)) and I still had to go to the ATM and the gasstation. First there was a traffic jam in my town. It's only a small town and here is never much traffic! Then the police controlled me. There are some really cute guys in Frankfurt, but when they control me, none of them is there of course. In Darmstadt I missed the U-Turn and I was driving somewhere through Darmstadt. I got no idea where I was, but finally I found my way. Poor Anni was waiting in front of the bar and it was freezing cold. At least I had some earrings as a present for her.

At dinner they brought me the wrong dish. When mine was ready Anni already had finished hers. From the moment I told the waitress that this is not what I orderd, she was ignoring us. And she didn't say she's sorry. In the end she didn't get any tip from us. I mean she had 10 Cent from me, but only because she kept it without saying a word. She left our table that fast, that I couldn't react.

It's been awhile that Anni asked me, to ask Mike if he still got contact with Joel and I shall ask him if Joel received Anni's letter. I never did it, though I promised her. Now I have done something really bad. I gave Anni Mike's e-mail adress. Usually I don't do something like that, but I have to keep a promise at least as far as I can. He will be so pissed..... I'm sorry for that. As we don't have any contact anymore I won't know how pissed he will be. Some bad things got their good sides. I guess, he won't answer her anyway. He knows that we are friends and he's to much a coward.
13.1.06 15:34


Something like this...

... can only happen to me.

I drove to Walldorf to buy some things. I parked my car and wanted to get my wallet. Shit! Where is it? I was sure I took it with me. Ok, I drove back home again. It's not far, only about 8 km, but it was a bit annoying. I was looking in the whole appartement for it. I couldn't find it. Back to the car. Well, it fell down and under the seat. That's so typical for me ;-)

I did my hair today. No, not blond. A nice, dark, shining brown.

I decided, for my birthday this month, I will get a present for myself. I will let my hair done. It's looking rather bad. And maybe a little rabbit?

You remember:
5.1.06 20:32


Some clear endings

I am spending too much time in the internet at the moment.

By the way: I will get a new number for my cell phone soon.

currently reading: Der Traum von Afrika by Pamela Watson.
Link: .German English
Currently listening: The rising tied by Fort Minor
Link: German English
My current favourite bar: Cantina Mescal

I got to put some clear ends to some things. I don't like it, when everything is so.... I don't know.... without an end.

If you got me as an friend, I could be the best friend you can get. I would even spend a lot of money to be there, when you are in trouble. Both lost me somewhere... But I got an email from an old friend today. I didn't had any contact with her for almost a year. Mostly it was my fault and I'm sorry for that. I will tell you another time, what happend. I was very happy, when she wrote.

#1: The guy who didn't brought me home: I thought I made it clear, but maybe not clear enough. Yesterday I wanted to call him (I will really do it tomorrow) and tell him, that beeing out 2 times and having an one night stand at the 3rd time is not a relationship. It was like this:
My textmessage at 1:30 am: Still awake?
He at 5:30!! am (I just fell asleep): Yes, in my car in Frankfurt. I'll pick you up in 15 min. ok? (Hey I didn't ask him to pick me up!)
Me: I am sleeping
Didn't I say I am sleeping? He sent me another textmessage and woke me up again. Then he called at 1:30 pm and woke me up again. When he sent me a textmessage (Working hard?) tonight I wrote: I did work hard lately. I am exhausted. Thanks for waking me up the fourth time today. The first part is true, but I didn't sleep this time.

#2: The guy from last fall: I don't talk too much about this, because he was important for me that time. It hurt me when it happend. But now I guess I don't really give a shit anymore. When I'm hurt I get stuck on it and I'm getting stubborn and difficult. When I got over it I thought maybe we could just be friends. It's not possible? Then now I will put an clear end to this too and won't waste my time anymore

5.1.06 02:26


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